the truth about beginnings

contrary to popular belief, you don't have to wait until the 1st of the month to begin anew. there's nothing magical about a number or even a day. you can have a new beginning from moment to moment. the beauty of viewing beginnings from this perspective is that it allows you to make mistakes, have "off days" and begin anew without blame or judgment. you will make mistakes in your quest to change. it's a part of the process so don't beat yourself up. start over. unshackle yourself from the idea that resolutions and goals are reserved for the beginning of january, your birthday or sundays. change happens moment to moment. the moment is now.

make peace with your decisions

"the path begins at a crossroads. there you can stop and think what direction to take. but don't spend too much time thinking or you'll never leave the spot. ask yourself the classic carlos castaneda question: which of these paths has a heart? reflect a lot on the choices that lie ahead, but once you've taken the first step, forget the crossroads forever or you'll always torture yourself with the useless question, "did i take the right path?" if you listened to your heart before making the first movement, you chose the right path.

love your path. without this, nothing makes sense."

- paolo coehlo, from "life: a walker's guide...how to honour and care for the path you're on"

a work in progress

"when we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as "rootless and stemless". we treat it as a seed. when it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. we stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. the rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. within it, at all times, it contains its whole process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is."

w. timothy gallwey

know that no matter what your current circumstances, you are a work in progress and that every experience prepares you for the next one. change is the only constant. be patient with yourself. be gentle with yourself. a rose is still a rose.

be

http://i343.photobucket.com/albums/o479/lamaravillaangel/be.gif

just a little reminder.

bitter or fresh?

an aging hindu master grew tired of his apprentice complaining and so, one morning, sent him for some salt.

when the apprentice returned, the master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it.

"how does it taste?" the master asked.

"bitter," spit the apprentice.

the master chuckled and then asked the young man to take the same handful of salt and put it in the lake.
the two walked in silence to the nearby lake and once the apprentice swirled his handful of salt in the water, the old man said, "now drink from the lake."

as the water dripped down the young man's chin, the master asked, "how does it taste?"

"fresh," remarked the apprentice.

"do you taste the salt?" asked the master.

"no," said the young man.

at this the master sat beside this serious young man, who so reminded him of himself, and took his hands, offering:

"the pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. the amount of pain in life remains exactly the same. however, the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. so when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things . . . stop being a glass. become a lake."

20 quick tips for surviving change you didn't ask for

1. focus on the solution, not the problem. because society rewards analytic thinking, we believe that identifying the cause of our troubles is the answer: why is this happening? that’s a starting point, but don’t spend too much time there. what are you going to do about where you are?

2. because feeling in control is so crucial to resilience, and unasked-for-change can leave us feeling very out of control, try asking yourself this question during the day: what am i free to choose right now?

3. what if you don’t believe you have the confidence or talent to find a solution? pretend you do. turns out that “fake it till you make it” has validity in brain science—the thoughts you hold and actions you take really do create new pathways in your brain. “as we act, so we become,” as sharon begley puts it in train your mind, change your brain.

4. find things to laugh about. people who thrive during change work their funny bones. says psychologist mihaly csikszentmihalyi, “thrivers’ happiness is not dependent on external factors or life circumstances alone. it derives from their chosen state of consciousness and ability to cheer themselves up when things are looking down.” laughter has been shown to relieve stress, lower blood pressure, and improve breathing as well as mood. best of all is when we can laugh at ourselves for not being perfect or when we hit some road block in the direction we wanted to go. it helps us stay lighthearted and resourceful.

5. celebrate success along the way, no matter how small: a new connection, a possible lead, a small savings. give yourself credit for moving forward in a difficult situation. at the end of the day, look at what you’ve done and celebrate whatever accomplishment you can. celebration creates positive energy and forward momentum.

6. when considering options, before you say something won’t work, consider how it might work. try it on for a while.

7. focus on a positive future. ricki lake put it this way: “when i went through challenges in my life…i told myself, `focus on where you’ll be a year from now.’ it helps to know that, in time, the hard parts will be water under the bridge.” i’d modify that to, focus on where you want to be a year from now (otherwise you can scare yourself with all kinds of terrible futures). then ask what actions you need to take today to make that positive future happen.

8. breathe slowly and deeply. shallow breathing is a sign that you are in fight or flight mode, where you are not in touch with all of your resources to handle this change. a few conscious slow and deep breaths, especially if you also relax your muscles as much as possible, tells the part of your brain responsible for fight or flight that you’re not in danger and so it calms down. then you’re able to think more clearly, widely, and deeply. to test if you’re breathing deeply, put one hand on your chest, the other on your belly. take a breath in and out. are both hands moving? if only the top one is, see if you can get the bottom one going as well.

9. direct your complaints upward. sometimes all we can do when faced with a challenging change is to cry out to the heavens, “help me!” that’s what aa is all about—turning your problem over to a higher power, however you understand that to be, so that you aren’t so alone in the difficulty. writes carol orsborn in her book the art of resilience, “you don’t have to believe that this works for it to be effective.” give it a try.

10. get out and help someone else. as studs terkel put it in one of his last interviews, “once you become active helping others, you feel alive. you don’t feel, ‘it’s my fault.’ you become a different person. and others are changed too.” when we focus on someone else’s problems, we put our own in perspective. plus we take a break from worrying about ourselves, which is always a good thing. a friend who was in a california fire zone last summer emailed me during the time it wasn’t clear whether she lost her house, saying, “if we focus on helping others, panic diminishes.” absolutely!

11. find someone in the same situation to help and pay attention to what you suggest they do. one of your best resources is the advice you give others. be sure to follow your own suggestions.

12. with apologies to those of us who shun it, thirty minutes of aerobic activity daily is still the best way, experts say, to counteract the stress of change.

13. encourage yourself along the way as you would a child running a race—“you can do it! you’re doing well!” this positive self talk has been found to increase what psychologists call agency—the belief you can get where you want to go.

14. if you find yourself worrying all the time, set aside a fifteen-minute worry time, say 5 p.m. every day. then when your mind starts worrying at other times, tell yourself it’s not worry time and distract yourself—read a good book, do a puzzle, something that occupies your mind.

15. if you find yourself having to do things you’d rather not, make sure that you also do things you love on a regular basis: my friend annette traces her family tree ’cause she loves genealogy, andy plays the piano, i read novels. passionate interests give zest to life during change. they don’t have to be expensive.

16. be sure to thank those who help along the way. gratefulness is good for your mind, body, and spirit, and it increases the possibility that you will continue to receive assistance.

17. what really matters here? that’s a question that will help you keep the change in proportion. a woman who lost her house was told by her minister that what she needed was a home, not a house. it helped her move to a rental with greater peace and perspective.

18. hang out with happy people. a large new twenty-year study by harvard medical sociologist nicholas christakis shows that happiness is contagious, spreading from one person to nearby family members, neighbors, and friends. one happy person can increase the happiness of others he or she comes into contact with by 8 to 36 percent, and the effect can last up to a year. ride on the uplift of others. it will give you the energy to keep on.

19. quakers are taught to look for “way open” to know if they should pursue something and “way closed” to give up. that means they look for the open door to indicate which way to go and if they encounter too many obstacles, they conclude it wasn’t meant to be. that’s a good strategy for all of us coping with change. yes, you should be focused on what you want, but if all pathways to a goal are blocked, perhaps that’s a message to give up and pursue something else entirely. as anthony d’angelo says, “never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.”

20. focus on the positive qualities you have to face this change. i recently got my town newsletter and in it, an administrator named audrey lee wrote, “the year ahead may be lean in fiscal resources, but i know we are rich in energy, talent, commitment and momentum.” i instantly knew the town was in good hands. the more we pay attention to the resources we have to cope, the better we will do, particularly when we ask ourselves how we can use our energy, talent, commitment, and momentum to succeed.

copyright © 2009 by m.j. ryan
excerpted from adaptability: how to survive change you didn’t ask for
published by broadway books

what's right about you?

you can probably list all of the things you want to change about yourself, all of your shortcomings and the ways in which you don't measure up. that's easy. the challenge for most people is identifying their good qualities; things that they are doing well.

so, just for the next week (and beyond), notice what is right. we don't learn from judgment. we grow from the grace and compassion that we extend to others and ourselves.

project gratitude

in moments when it seems like your world is falling apart and in moments when everything comes together magically, expressing gratitude is transformative. it is a wonderful reminder of all that is good when things are going well and helps shift us out of sadness when things don't go as we wished. i invite you to join a new group on facebook, project gratitude, that focuses on appreciating the goodness in your life - staying present - during moments you want to last forever and moments that you are not so excited about. the group works best if you visit daily, as things cross your mind, but use it as you wish.

here's the link:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=108629454997&ref=ts

hope to see you there!

the butterfly effect

Ask more questions, not the same questions more often
Recognize you can be whatever you desire to be
Know that performance does not equal identity
Realize that you are the equal of everybody
Realize that you are the better of nobody
Appreciate you did the best you could
Face the future, live for the moment
Understand suffering is part of life
Accept you will make mistakes
Breathe from your diaphragm
Smile when things get tough
Always be kind to yourself
Think before your answer
Visualize Your Success
Take time for yourself
Make time for others
Listen with interest
Suspend disbelief
Embrace change
Still Your Mind
Be curious
Exercise
Laugh
Love
Cry
Be
~anonymous

how would your life change if you decided to do one thing differently? for the next week, commit to including one of these practices into your life.

updates

going forward, this blog will be updated every thursday. continue to look for inspirational quotes, poems, workshop information and entries about creating an inspired life.

gratitude

"gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. it turns what we have into enough, and more. it turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... it turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."

~melody beattie

fully alive

i will not die an unlived life.
i will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.
i choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing,
a torch,
a promise.
i choose to risk my significance;
to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

-dawna markova

are you fully alive? what would you need to change to become fully alive?

prayer request

may my feet rest firmly on the ground

may my head touch the sky'

may i see clearly

may i have the capacity to listen

may i be free to touch

may my words be true

may my heart and mind be open

may my hands be empty to fill the need

may my arms be open to others

may my gifts be revealed to me

so i may return that which has been given
completing the great circle.



- the terma collective

the wisdom blessing

may you choose outrageous actions that challenge who you are

and encourage who you are becoming.

may you take one step, however small, towards that which
you have always longed for. now is the right time!

may you recognize the unique and powerful contribution
that you bring to the people whose lives you touch.

may you be as grand and wonderful as you really are,
and do things because you want to, not just because you should.

may you celebrate your creativity and find peace
and purpose and passion amidst the chaos and suffering.

may you reach towards the spirit with a longing that keeps you
present to the miracles available all around you, all the time.

may your faith move any mountains that stand in your way
and may your heart be awake and open.

may wisdom be your guide and
may love be at the center of all of your choices.

*author: shiloh*

comes the dawn

after awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

and you learn to build your roads on today,
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
after awhile you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
and you learn that you really can endure...
and you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.
and you learn and you learn and you learn...
with every good-bye you learn.

anonymous

life 101

live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
practice wellness.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose with no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.

author: mary anne radmacher

a formal introduction...

vision:
our thoughts about ourselves and our world have a direct influence on our decisions and quality of life. at inspired living life coaching, we work with clients to transform inspiration into action.

we operate from a strengths and empowerment perspective and believe that people possess the innate wisdom to create their ideal lives and need support, encouragement and resources to transform information into action. we help clients see themselves without internalized negative filters, learn to hear their inspiration and trust in their ability to move their lives forward.

services:
our guiding principle at inspired living life coaching is to model creativity. we offer a wide range of services tailored to fit individual needs of clients. we develop customized strategies and tools that address each client's unique life situation. we help people to transform their lives through individual, group, family coaching and any combination of these services. we also offer short-term options such as career planning, five year life mapping and facilitation of organizational retreats. in addition, we work in collaboration with community colleges and universities to help prepare students for life after graduation.

interested? want more information?
contact us at info@inspiredlivinglifecoaching.com if you would like to learn more about coaching options including personal coaching, phone coaching and inspirational support groups in your area. we look forward to helping you turn inspiration into action!